Mastering Dirty Talk: How to Escalate an Erotic Chat in 5 Easy Steps

Sent one text to that booty call you’ve been “waiting for the right time” to contact and they haven’t responded for three days? Yeah, thought so. There’s a method to being filthy with your words and too many people fucking it up. Here’s how to actually be good at it.

I learned these tips from building millions of dollars worth of phone sex businesses that all relied on conversation to close. We taught men how to take calls and charm girls into spending hundreds on adult chat. You can chat someone into having sex with you over text too if you know how to do it right.

If you text someone dirty every chance you get you’re going to come off needy and desperate as hell. It’s totally fine to be straight up dirty, but timing is everything. I’m going to show you how to properly build tension in a conversation.

Type 1 opens with “Hey.” Type 2 sends seventeen fire emojis and “u up?” Neither of these people are Oscar winners. Perfect conversations build tension instead of slamming every filthy word in your vocab into someone’s skull like you’re Godzilla ripping through their fucking city. Here’s how to fix that.

How Do You Begin a Sexy Text Conversation That Isn’t Creepy?

Open with a comment or observation that highlights personality. “You looked like trouble in that last photo, I like it” instantly does more work than “hey babe” because it’s specific to who they are and not some generic shit you’d send anybody.

Prefer to go in dirty? Drop a filthy joke instead of a compliment if you’re feeling extra bold. “Careful, I make terrible first impressions and even worse second ones.” Most importantly, wait to get graphic. If your first three messages are detailing exactly what you want to do to them then you just skipped the part where they learn you give a fuck.

How Do You Actually Build Tension?

Ask open-ended questions instead of making statements. “What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve done that you’d actually tell me” will get your chat partner typing. “I want to ride you down” will get one word or prompt them to send you to voicemail.

Give a compliment with a hook. “Those lips look like they were made for sinning.” Works better than “hey sweet cheeks” because you just brought sex into the conversation without blatantly saying anything explicit. Let the silence linger for a few seconds before escalating again instead of punching them with something twice as filthy as their last message.

How Do You Know When They’re Digging Your Texts?

When someone likes what you’re saying their replies get longer and quicker. Multiple paragraphs? Questions shot back at you immediately? Fuck yeah. Fast replies that aren’t one word answers means they want to talk to you and are digging your shit. “Haha yeah” after three days of radio silence also tells you everything you need to know. That’s an answer.

Ask questions that require more than a yes or no response. The longer they take to type “oh just stuff lol” the more you know they were sitting there actually thinking about what you said.

Another hint? They ask questions or escalate without you prompting them. Now that’s them speaking right to your face. If the conversation starts to lose energy suddenly, back off by sending something low pressure like a joke. Don’t try and escalate through a lag just because you’re used to building.

And when you get good at this you should totally hit up some of those horny strangers on adult sex chat on XtremeChat. No pressure to meet up, no video chat, just good ole fashioned text chatting. You aren’t scrolling through profiles waiting for that special someone to message you first. Someone you message is gonna message you back.

How Do You Not Come Off as Desperate?

Don’t over-text. Send one message at a time, wait for a reply. Three texts in a row with no response from the other person is anxiety talking, not confidence.

Don’t know what to say next? Ask a question. “What are you into?” hands the conversation back over to them. Do more hinting than telling. “I’ve got some ideas.” Wait for them to ask you “like what” before you say more.

How Do You Bring Them Back for More?

Send one last message after the conversation naturally ends. “Finishing my dinner now, wish I was eating you instead” doesn’t give them an opportunity to say goodbye, but lets them know you want more later.

Reference something from your last convo. Nothing is more appealing than when someone puts work into remembering something you said. Try and match their level of energy versus one upping their texts. That’s the difference between a one-off flirt chat and something that turns into someone who actually keeps coming back for more.